update on writing process

There is a thorn in my foot, and instead of stopping and extracting it, I carry on, feigning ignorance of the pain I feel every other step. This is my writing. I am fully aware of the writing processes now, and I know exactly which part of my writing is suffering. Yet, I struggle to change.
Of course I use the ever-famous quote, “If only I had more time…” to make excuses for my lack of pre-writing. I often won’t start even a sentence of a paper until the day before, or even the very day it is due. If a paper exceeds six pages, I will really push myself to write in sections, but I often realize that I have to sew two mismatched pieces together as I hurry through the second part of the paper, because I don’t have the time to go back and change the pattern and color of the first part. It’s always embarrassing to look a professor in the eyes as I hand over one of these hideous papers.
However, one aspect of pre-writing has permanently changed that somewhat alleviates some of this stress. Unless I do not have access to a computer, I refuse to start a paper without the Freemind mapping software. This has been so beneficial as it organizes my thoughts and ideas prior to drafting a paper. I even enjoy the addition of each node, and take satisfaction as they fill the paper. I’ll refer to the map as I draft my paper, especially when it’s time to add a new idea or paragraph.
I enjoy the beginning of new paragraphs. They present a challenge of linking two ideas, and I find this is a good time to be creative. This will keep my reader interested as they roll into any shift. Creativity also keeps me interested in writing the paper, but I sometimes get so tangled in what it should look like, that I will ignore the grammatical structure of my writing. There has to be a balance, and I too often clumsily fall head first into the ground, my “creativity” shattering. Now I have nothing to prove in my writing except that I look really silly with an egg on my head.